Habits & Behaviour Change
When you know what you want to change, but keep finding yourself doing the same thing.
Behaviours can become closely connected with familiar situations, routines, emotions and urges, until responding in the same way begins to feel increasingly automatic.
You may know a habit is no longer helping you, have good reasons for wanting to change it and genuinely intend to do something differently; yet find yourself returning to the same behaviour when a familiar situation, feeling or urge appears.
For some people, the pattern involves smoking, vaping or gambling. For others, it may involve procrastination or other unwanted habits that seem to happen before there has been much opportunity to think about them.
Therapy can help you understand what happens around the behaviour and develop different ways of responding.
When a Behaviour Becomes a Pattern
Habits are often connected with particular situations, emotions, routines or expectations.
You may notice that you:
repeat a behaviour at particular times or in familiar situations
experience a strong urge before doing something you intended to avoid
use a behaviour when feeling stressed, bored, uncomfortable or overwhelmed
tell yourself you will change later, then find the same pattern repeating
put things off even when completing them would make life easier
experience temporary relief after giving in to an urge or avoiding something
act almost automatically before consciously deciding what you want to do
become frustrated because knowing what to do has not been enough to change the pattern
move between periods of strong motivation and returning to familiar routines
The pattern will not look the same for everyone.
What matters is understanding what happens for you before, during and after the behaviour.
Why Habits Can Be Difficult to Change
A behaviour may provide relief, stimulation, distraction, comfort or another immediate change in how you feel.
When that response is repeated, particular situations, feelings or urges can become increasingly associated with the behaviour, even when the longer-term consequences are something you genuinely want to change.
A cigarette may become connected with coffee or a work break. Vaping may happen automatically while driving or relaxing. Gambling may become associated with excitement, escape or anticipation. Procrastination may provide temporary relief from pressure, uncertainty or the discomfort of beginning something difficult.
This is one reason simply telling yourself to “try harder” is often not enough. Understanding the pattern gives us somewhere more useful to begin.
How Therapy May Help
Therapy can help you explore the circumstances in which the behaviour occurs and what may be keeping the pattern going.
Depending on your experience and goals, our work may involve:
identifying triggers, routines and repeated associations
recognising what tends to happen immediately before the behaviour
understanding what the behaviour changes for you in the moment
developing different responses to urges, discomfort or familiar triggers
interrupting automatic patterns
reducing reliance on avoidance or short-term relief
approaching tasks or situations you may have been putting off
strengthening your ability to make purposeful choices when motivation changes
preparing for situations where the old pattern is most likely to appear
developing practical strategies that can be used in everyday life
Strategic psychotherapy, counselling and clinical hypnotherapy may be incorporated where appropriate, depending on the behaviour, your individual circumstances and your therapeutic goals. The aim is not simply to remove a behaviour. It is to understand what keeps the pattern going and develop more flexible ways of responding when familiar triggers or urges appear.
Areas I Can Help With
Anxiety and fear can take different forms. If one of these feels particularly familiar, you can explore it in more detail.
Smoking Cessation
Smoking can become closely connected with stress, coffee, driving, work breaks, social situations and other familiar routines.
Therapy can help you understand these associations and develop different ways of responding when familiar smoking triggers appear.
Vaping Cessation
Vaping can become frequent and automatic, with urges becoming connected with particular activities, environments and emotional states.
Therapy can help you recognise these patterns and develop different responses to situations in which vaping has become familiar.
Gambling Behaviour Change
Gambling can become difficult to step away from when urges, expectations, emotions and familiar patterns begin influencing decisions.
Therapy can help you understand what happens around gambling behaviour and develop more purposeful ways of responding to familiar triggers and urges.
Procrastination
You may know what needs to be done yet repeatedly delay beginning, wait until you feel more motivated or find yourself doing almost anything else first.
Procrastination can sometimes provide short-term relief from pressure, uncertainty, discomfort or the possibility of getting something wrong.
Therapy can help you understand what happens around the delay and develop more purposeful ways of starting, continuing and following through.
Other Unwanted Habits
Some habits do not fit neatly into a particular category.
You may find yourself repeating a behaviour automatically or struggling to change something despite having made a clear decision that you would like to do things differently.
Therapy can help you explore the pattern, what tends to trigger it and what may help you respond differently.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
You do not need to have everything figured out before you begin.
Book an initial therapy session, or arrange a complimentary 15-minute introductory call if you would like to ask a few questions first.