Social Anxiety
When you become too aware of yourself around other people.
Social anxiety can make everyday interactions feel much more significant than they need to.
You may worry about what other people think of you, how you are coming across, whether you will know what to say or whether something you do will seem awkward or embarrassing.
Before a social situation, you might think through what could happen or prepare what you are going to say. During it, you may become highly aware of yourself. Afterwards, you might replay the interaction and wonder how you came across.
Over time, this can make social situations feel increasingly uncomfortable or easier to avoid.
What Social Anxiety Can Feel Like
Social anxiety can appear in conversations, groups, social events, meeting new people or situations where you feel noticed or evaluated.
You may:
worry about being judged, criticised or rejected
feel highly self-conscious around other people
worry about saying the wrong thing or having nothing to say
become very aware of how you look, sound or behave
notice blushing, shaking, sweating or a racing heart
rehearse conversations or prepare extensively beforehand
avoid drawing attention to yourself
replay interactions afterwards
avoid situations where you expect to feel uncomfortable
When Your Attention Turns Inward
In social situations, part of your attention may become focused on monitoring yourself.
Do I look nervous?
What should I say next?
Was that awkward?
What do they think of me?
The more attention turns inward, the harder it can become to stay involved in the interaction itself.
You may also interpret feeling nervous or awkward as evidence that other people can see it or are judging you, even when you do not actually know what they are thinking.
Staying quiet, rehearsing, avoiding eye contact or avoiding the situation altogether may help you feel safer in the moment, but these patterns can also keep social anxiety going.
How Therapy May Help
Therapy can help you understand what happens for you before, during and after social situations and develop different ways of responding.
Depending on your experience and goals, this may involve:
reducing excessive self-monitoring
questioning assumptions about how others are judging you
responding differently to anxious thoughts and physical sensations
reducing avoidance, overpreparing and reassurance seeking
spending less time replaying interactions afterwards
becoming more comfortable with uncertainty about what others think
gradually approaching situations you would like to feel more comfortable in.
The aim is not to eliminate every moment of nervousness or self-consciousness. It is to help you participate more freely, with less of your attention and energy taken up by fear of judgement.
Social Anxiety or Performance Anxiety?
Social anxiety can occur across many different interactions and social situations.
If your anxiety is mainly connected with public speaking, presenting, performing or being evaluated, the Performance Anxiety & Public Speaking page may be more relevant.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
You do not need to feel confident before you begin.
We can start by understanding what happens for you, which situations feel difficult and what you would like to be different.